i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
