This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
