She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
