The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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