No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
