So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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