Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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