i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is wine microwaveable?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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