I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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