I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
