my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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