i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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