You just made me feel so damn special
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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