oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
stfu you slept on the patio!?!