i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
