Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize