Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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