i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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