I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize