Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
