I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
