wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
