know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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