Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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