White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
