Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
