Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
