Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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