i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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