Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
