It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize