Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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