I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize