I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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