wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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