How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
