those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's rum buckets o'clock
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
