oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
