then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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