do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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