Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
