im about as happy as oj after his trial
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize