Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
