I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
