it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
