they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
