At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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