You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize