Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
