I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
