Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
