no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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