ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
