Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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