I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
