just come out here and I will go home with you...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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