If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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