some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
