He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The air taste purple.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
