Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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