I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
