he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
